*Warning, major blanket statement to follow* There are mainly two types of people in New York City: Uptown or Downtown. This actually has less to do with your physical location and more to do with your aesthetic and lifestyle. It’s a mindset, a way of life, a parenting style… which are you?

1. The Workout

Uptown: Personal trainer only. You have him come to your private at-home gym for a low impact, low sweat workout – because sweating, eeewww. Not your thing. You don’t attend classes, because again, not your thing but from time to time will have a yoga or pilates instructor come by to teach a class to you and your mommy friends out on the veranda – with champagne to follow.

Downtown: Name it and you’ve done it! From Tracy Anderson to Dogpound to SoulCycle or whatever the latest-greatest workout is that everyone’s talking about. Plus you obviously surf during the summer and yoga all year ’round. Really, when it comes to fitness, the possibilities are endless.  

2. Breakfast 

Uptown: Avocado toast or Almond Brioche at Sant Ambroeus UES after your nanny drops the kids off at school.

Downtown: A turmeric latte with pea protein milk from cool Aussie outpost Blue Stone Lane after you drop your kids off at school and rush to catch the train to get to work.

3. Social Scene

Uptown: You socialize exclusively with your core friends from high school, college or wherever you summered as a kid – to the point at which you can hardly remember what it’s like to associate with a new crew. You likely married someone you met in high school or college as well. Together you and your friends all married around the same time, the husbands and wives are all friends, had babies at the same time and continue to make plans together every weekend, as well as your summer travel.

Downtown: Collecting new people and new friends is your MO – you’re likely not from NY and have had to make friends since moving to NY. As for high school, you hardly remember anyone from high school. The majority of your friends you’ve met through other friends when out to dinner, at an event, through work or your kids’ school.

4. Dinner

Uptown: Polo Lounge or private chef with a nightcap at the Carlyle Hotel. 

Downtown: De Maria, While We Were Young Cafe, Bar Pitti or Caviar delivery service with a nightcap at Paul’s Casablanca.

5. Dress-code

Uptown: Head to toe designer look from the latest Moda Operandi trunk show paired with heels – regardless of occasion. 

Downtown: Golden Goose sneakers, Redone jeans + tee. At night it’s more or less the same except swap sneakers for heels and on occasion you throw in a skirt for good measure.

6. Outfitting the kids

Uptown: Bonpoint, because as far as you’re concerned there’s no other children’s brand to consider. 

Downtown: A healthy mix of Zara, H&M, Rockets of Awesome with a spattering of cute boutique brands that you received as a gift.

7. Transportation

Uptown: Driver. Obviously. On occasion you’ll get an UberBlack X VIP.

Downtown: Uber, subway and your feet mainly. You’ll hail a taxi in a bind. 

8. Holiday

Uptown: South of France with a full staff. 

Downtown: Surf trip to Nosara, Costa Rica with the kids. Everyone surfs. Obviously.

9. Schooling

Uptown: Legacy. 

Downtown: Progressive or public.

10. Childcare

Uptown: A small home staff that includes, a baby nurse which extends well beyond your baby being a baby, the daytime nanny, a cook, a driver, the daytime nanny’s driver, a weekend nanny and an evening nanny with flex babysitters on stand-by. Oh, and a florist, because why not?

Downtown: A nanny (maybe) and the Hello Sitter app on repeat.

11. The Park Scene

Uptown: Wouldn’t know. Never been. After all, if you did go, what would you do? You’re more charity event and less playground – just not your scene.

Downtown: You know all the best parks up and down the westside from Chelsea to Battery Park. The kids run free and barefoot. Why not? Fair enough, there are a lot of nannies there, but it’s still a healthy mix of parents and caregivers – you’re sure to run into some mom friends.

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