It’s not easy being a parent anywhere on this earth. There are lists of dos and don’ts that we all have to adhere to no matter where one resides. There is, however, a unique set of rules that are rarely spoken of but clearly understood by all those insane and wonderful moms who chose to raise their kids in New York City. We thought we’d take a peak at some.
1. Take your stroller with you to the subway – shockingly, there will always be someone at the ready to help you up or down the stairs. And they say New Yorkers are not nice…
2. Move out of the middle of the sidewalk if you and you’re MINI going to walk at a snail’s pace. Kids walk slow, we get it, but no need to hog the entire walkway. Not cool.
3. And NEVER allow your children and their friends to create a human chain across the sidewalk – holding hands is fun but let’s follow the most basic of New York rules, kiddos!
4. It is absolutely fine to take a taxi those five blocks to school in the middle of winter – or better yet, order an Uber. We all do it so let’s stop pretending and let go of the guilt.
5. Most restaurants are fair game with the littles for brunch and pre-6pm dinner but think long and hard about your family dining choices outside of those boundaries. If it feels wrong it most likely is.
6. Don’t feel bad that your kids are on a first name basis with your Seamless delivery guy.
7. If you host a weekday playdate, don’t just assume you’ll get a fun catch-up with so-and-so’s mom. You’ll likely be sipping rose with the nanny, which is usually more fun anyway.
8. Never acknowledge celebrities on the playground. Never. It’s totally normal that your daughter is playing with Gisele’s youngest right now…
9. If you give your kid an iPad to watch a show in a restaurant, headphones are mandatory.
10. Teach your children young that you always let the people on the train get off before you board.
11. It’s okay to tell your kid to walk against the light if no cars are coming, but of course you can never skip the five-second lecture about them never doing that unless they’re with mommy, blah, blah, blah.
12. Accept that you will acquire countless pairs of underwear, sox, PJs, leggings and jackets that do not belong to your kid… but they will eventually start wearing these phantom items if they stick around long enough.
13. Don’t let your kids touch anything even resembling a pole on the subway.
14. A grocery store is a wonderful mecca for New York City kids; treat it as such.
15. Do not ask for directions. Map it. Map all of it.
16. You’re totally allowed to pretend you didn’t see Timmy’s talkative mom if you spot her on the subway platform.
17. It will become the norm to tell your child that something is closed. As in, “no we can’t go to ice cream anymore – it already closed.”
18. Babysitters are sacred. You never steal another mom’s babysitter. Don’t do it.
19. Your kids will think rats and mice are cute. It’s OK.
20. Failing to carry cash is always a mistake.
21. Keep flip flops off sidewalk-strolling kiddos in summer or suffer the wrath of forever black feet (and that stuff does not come off in the bath).
22. As a New York City parent you are basically allowed to use any store or restaurant’s restroom… even when the sign says you can’t.
23. Accept that you will suddenly have a whole new crew of friends once your kid starts school.