Yah know, when you’re raising babes in the land of eternal sunshine
by Colleen Crivello
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Having been raised in LA myself, I’d argue that not all that much has changed since my childhood. Perhaps UBER has altered the playing field a bit and now mediation for kids is as normal as recess, but otherwise more or less the same. In an effort to test my theory we tapped a few of our fave LA mamas to let us in on the implied guidelines and subculture of parenting in the land of eternal sunshine.
1. If you’re at a mom event and less than three women are wearing Doen… then you’re likely hanging with the wrong crew.
2. Farmer’s market fruits and veggies, exclusively. No exceptions.
3. Pay no-mind to the celeb parents that you encounter on the playground or at school drop-off/pick-up. Act normal.
4. Summer attire is a constant. Layers are weird and unnecessary. Dressing like it’s “winter” is more or less for fashion purposes only, so accept that your kids will have more bathing suits than long-sleeved shirts or jackets for that matter – because, perpetual sunny skies.
5. You’ve mastered the multitask while driving, plus thank goodness for valet – oh for the love of valet EVERYWHERE.
6. The car is a sleep routine staple – driving kids around the block is the oldest trick in the LA handbook.
7. Accept that an afternoon hang with your mom-friend means a hike at Runyon Canyon followed by Juice Served Here and a massage at The Now.
8. This one’s universal – regardless of zip code or region: Babysitters are sacred. You never steal another mom’s babysitter. Never.
9. And the most seasoned LA mamas, always have a back-up sitter. This is a must, considering yours may bail at any moment due to a last minute audition.
10. Your kids will think walking is a form of exercise, not transportation. It’s OK, nobody walks ANYWHERE, except in designated walking zones such as hiking trails and the 3rd St. Promenade. If you meander from this, the assumption is that your car is broken and you’re going for help. Awkward.
11. Cash is irrelevant – totally normal to purchase gum on a credit card.
12. Come to terms with the fact that your children will have friends named “Lotus Sky Flower”
13. Does baby need an agent? Maybe.
14. If you don’t have a health/wellness/homeopathic guru on standby, you need one.
15. Your kids are well-trained in jumping out of the car to grab your curbside take-out dinner left for pick-up with the valet!
16.You’re woefully unprepared every time it rains, and yet you’ve never considered purchasing anything remotely close to an umbrella.
17. Heading to Little Beach House Malibu for weekend brunch with the fam is THE thing to-do.
18. Jaywalking – nope, don’t do it.
19. Avocado, smoothies and sushi are normal parts of every kid’s meal.
20. Your kids have come to expect that cupcakes come from ATMs.
21. Perhaps your mommy and me playgroup has morphed into a moms-drinking-wine club — no kids allowed.
22. School has become a “gluten free zone” and lunch includes only grass-fed meat, organics, vegan and non-GMO options.
23. Meditation and yoga is considered norm-core curriculum in preschool.